Once Upon A Novelist

Magic Genie, I wish For...

2011-11-03T08:29:00.001-07:00

If I had three wishes right now from my very own magic genie, I'd wish for a PR specialist. Why? Because there is SOOOO much to do in thinking of self publishing my novel. I spent most of yesterday looking into the various aspects of what I need to be doing to really give this baby of mine the best shot out there in the world of books.

I had a sort of temporary ADD running from one website on launch parties to another on book doctors to a third on book trailers. Yikes! Overwhelming? Yes. Thrilling? Absolutely.

So today, I hope to approach things with a tad bit more aplomb and focus. I look at this as birthing my 4th baby...and by all accounts, it very well might take 9 months!

Please continue to share your tips and success stories!

Getting Ready To Take The Plunge!

2011-11-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

I think I'm finally ready.

I think I'm ready to take the plunge and self publish my first novel. With the completion of my second novel and the editing process in full swing, I've decided it's high time I do something about the first one sitting on my shelf in it's three ring binder.

I'll be the first to admit that the thought of all that goes into publishing your own book is more than a bit daunting to me. The more I research and read about the marketing and promotional aspects of it, the more I wonder if this is an arena I can be successful in. I spend much of my time conversing with fictional characters in my head...planning their words, their next move. It's quite a leap, in my mind, to go from this solitary endeavor to peddling my book to the masses. Still I believe there has to be a happy medium for a writer like me...a way to market myself inside my own comfort zone.

So now I feel a little like the proverbial kid in a candy store with so many options of book covers producers, copyright editors, book doctors...marketing strategies and launch parties. Hey now, this could be fun if only I can get over my fear of the stigma attached to self publishing by so many in the industry.

As I start to prepare for this new endeavor, I'd love to know your experience with publishing your own book...from choosing a company and hiring editors to how you spread the word and marketed your work. Please share!

I'm BAAAAACCCCKKKK!!!

2011-09-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

So here we are again...many months since my last post and back again. Only this time, I'm alone.

All the kids are in school this year - well, at least on Tuesdays and Thursdays - so my mind is running rampant with plot ideas and character descriptions. I'm finally back to my current WIP which had been placed on hold for the past year and boy does it feel great! In fact, it felt fabulous today to update my word count progress in the corner of this blog. Yes, sometimes it's the little things in life that lift you up.

My hope is that my blog here is rejuvenated and I get to catch up with all my friends and faithful followers again. I'll be posting more often now - sometimes about my book, sometimes about my kids (7th grade now YIKES, 5th grade WOW and pre-school YES!), sometimes about my girl scout troop (that totally rocks) and sometimes just about the crazy things that life brings my way. Either which way, I'm BAAAACCCKKKK!

So in a few minutes, I'll sign off here and run around the house picking up and putting away for a bit and then sit down for 4 hours of solid writing. What a great day!

Only thing that can make it better? Maybe if the little one doesn't cry all day at pre-school.

Wishing you all a productive day at your computers!

Newb or Noob?

2011-03-23T08:45:00.000-07:00

Oh boy. I spent some time on urbandictionary.com doing some "research" today. Researching for a hip, super cool book you ask? No such luck. No, I was researching the current lingo going around my son's sixth grade class.

We had an interesting conversation in the car yesterday. It went something like this:

usually private 12 year old: "Mom, just curious, what's a newb?"
delighted to be asked mom: "I don't think I've ever heard that word...who said it?"
usually private 12 year old: "Just some kids. What's a scrub?"
confident mom: "Well, it's something doctors wear while working at a hospital."
usually private 12 year old: "I don't think that's what they mean..."
starting to feel old mom: "I don't know then, we'll google it."
usually private 12 year old: "How about a pimp?"
now dying mom: "Don't use that word."

End of said conversation.

Whoa....hold the phone! A pimp? Red flags popping up all over the place...

So that's how I happened upon urbandictionary.com which only succeeded in pointing out to me how much the world is changing. If I'm honest, I'm more confused than ever. Here's what I found for scrub - word for word, mind you....

A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly
And is also known as a buster
Always talkin' about what he wants
And just sits on his broke ass
A scrub is a guy that cant get no love from me
Hanging out the passenger side
Of his best-friend's ride
Trying to holler at me

What????? So I look up newb...

Someone who is new to the activity that they are currently partaking in. Very often this term is used pertaining to computer games. Contrary to popular belief, a newb and a n00b are not the same thing, as a newb can and will get better where as a n00b will partake in activites meant mainly to aggrivate other players.

This seems clear enough, right? Starting to make sense. But I should have stopped with the definition, but being a word geek, I looked to the explanatory sentence:

"You jump with the space bar, don't be such a newb" Uh-oh...what does that mean..."jump with the space bar"? This research could go on for ever...

Is this really the way kids are talking these days? I'm not even 40 yet, and I'm so out of touch? How can that be? I guess I'm lucky that my kid is asking me all these questions and giving me a chance to catch up with the youth lingo...and sadly, I almost signed up to get the word of the day e-mailed me from urbandictionary just so I could stay ahead of the game...but I recouped my sensibilities and passed it up. Some things, I just don't need sent to my inbox.

So what's the bright side? At the least the definition for pimp was the same as I remember.

Any interesting slang you think I should know?

Samoas, Do Si Do's, Thin Mints....

2011-01-28T08:20:00.000-08:00

So the New Year has come and is really not so "new" anymore and this is my first post. Ugh. Apologies. Sorry. Ooops...etc etc...

My excuse? This is my busy season. "An accountant," you assume. No - I am a 4th grade Girl Scout leader and (drum roll please)... IT'S COOKIE TIME!!!

Now all of you out there smiling as the thought of little Brownie and Junior scouts headed to your door peddling their boxes of cookies with promises of summer camps they wish to attend and homeless shelters they wish to help with their profits - stop and think of the poor leader who has to lug all the hundreds of boxes of cookies to her garage and disperse them to the eager little girls and then keep track of the thousands of dollars that flow in daily in dribs and drabs (in single bills and grubby coins, I might add).

Yesterday, my husband watched as I laid out my order forms and receipt packets to prepare my Cookie Selling Packet for my girls. "I guess I'll start parking in the driveway," he said. Yup, I guess he will. His side of the garage will soon be full of cases of Thin Mints and Samoas and my dreams full of bounced checks and Cookie booths on the horizon.

Just another reason why this current book is still in progress...

How do all you fabulous writer moms do it? I haven't written in two months! I think this weekend, I'm going to make it a priority to open a box of Do Si Do's and bang out a chapter...

Have a fabulous weekend - see you on this flip side!

I guess we just keep plugging away...

2010-12-16T22:18:00.000-08:00

So, last year I made a New Years resolution to read more. I already read quite a bit...every night in bed, sitting in the car waiting for the kids to be done practices. Sometimes I've even been known to read while making dinner if it is a really good book. But I wanted to read even more...I wanted to make a serious dent in the never ending shelf of books that I want to delve into. So I set myself a goal of 2 books a month (not alot really...) That's only 24 for the year.

Well, now it is closing in on the end of the year and I realize I haven't even come close. Not only did I not meet my resolution, but I read so far under my goal that I'm a little depressed about it.

But rather than throwing in the towel, I'm going to try again this year. What were your resolutions for 2010? Were you more successful than me?

Book Club worthy?

2010-09-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

Yippee, Hooray, Yee-haw!

Yes, the kids are back in school! (Well, two out of three anyway...but at least I'm no longer out numbered...)

It's such a relief to be done with all the running around that goes with the approaching school year. School supply shopping must be the most universally despised outing by moms everywhere. We avoid it all summer long which is why we ALL end up at Target and Office Depot on the last week of summer vacation. My school mandated supply list for two kids went something like this: 24 pack crayons, 12 pack colored pencils, 24 pack colored pencils, large white eraser (not pink, mind you), 4 folders in specific colors with NO DESIGNS, 2 folders with designs, 1 pack wide ruled loose leaf, 1 pack college ruled loose leaf ...you get the idea. Add in one crying toddler because it was her third store in one day and she was looking at the McDonald's located INSIDE the other side of the Walmart (who's bright idea was THAT?) and you'll see why I hate school supply shopping. I'd like to say it all works out in the end, but when you get home and begin to load the backpacks, you always find there is something you forgot. For me this year, it was a yellow highlighter for my 6th grader (and yes, it had to be yellow).

But there IS a part of back to school preparations that I do enjoy: the summer reading book report. It is gratifying to see how far the kids have come since the past school year - how much their vocabulary and handwriting have improved since June. But reading over my son's report last week, I had to stop and wonder: As a writer, am I ready to have such detailed and specific questions asked of my work? And more importantly: Would there really be an answer?

Was I really foreshadowing the ending when I had the MC plant a willow tree rather than a birch or an elm? (Couldn't I have just always wanted a willow in my own yard?) Was the fact that the nanny's name was Savannah indicative of the MC's southern roots? (Couldn't I have just liked the name?) And most importantly: Was I, the author, really trying to teach a lesson or universal truth during the course of my novel? How would my novel rate as a "book club" book? And does it even need to be?

Is it possible that authors don't always intend for the literary contraptions that appear in their books or could it possibly just be a manifestation of their underlying talent that these devices arise from their subconscious? What do you think? How would your own work rate as a "book club" book?

2010-08-11T16:02:00.000-07:00

How nice to return from a couple weeks of kid craziness - camps, practices, play dates and of course the obligatory summertime tummy virus for everyone - only to find an award waiting for me! Thanks Catherine!

In keeping with the rules of the award, I must now pass it on to five other blogs of note along with posting their links here. I hope you'll take a minute to check out these thought provoking and inspiring blogs!

1. Brian Keaney at Dreaming In Text
http://odyllicforce.blogspot.com/

2. Julie Musil at her self titled blog
http://juliemusil.blogspot.com/

3. Stu at Stusplace
http://stu-stusplace.blogspot.com/

4. Lydia Kang at The Word Is My Oyster
http://lydiakang.blogspot.com/

5. Jessica Brooks at My Thoughts Exactly
http://coffeelvnmom.blogspot.com/

I hope you'll check them all out and get the same insights and laughs that I do from following each! Happy reading! And as always...check out Catherine's fabulous blog at
http://catherineawinn.blogspot.com/

Thinking about my WIP...

2010-07-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

So I was cruising through all the fabulous blogs I follow and came upon a post at The Writing Room (by Catherine A. Winn) that has had me thinking for days. Her post Working on WIP or Goofing Off truly struck a cord with me - her essential idea being that so long as you are thinking about your project, you are still working on it.

I love that! It explains so much about why I feel unproductive some days simply because I haven't gotten my page quota finished, yet I feel like I've spent the whole day thinking about this character or that scene. It explains how the characters that begin in my head suddenly become friends and house guests that I don't want to leave. If we as writers spend so much time getting to know our characters (while we cook, while we drive errands, while we fall asleep at night...) then of course they become more well rounded, more present to us and then their story simply falls onto the page (okay more or less...) At least that's how I see it.

It seems to take me AGES to finish the first 50 pages of a new book. Painful almost. But then suddenly I'm in too deep and the story just takes over...the characters do what they were meant to do, no matter how much I might disagree or warn against it. They have a mind of their own.

So I'm curious, do you spend alot of time thinking and "living" your characters before putting them on paper? How do you find your stories unfolding? And if you have a moment, take a stroll over to The Writing Room at www.catherineawinn.blogspot.com!

Textbook or Netbook?

2010-07-19T14:33:00.000-07:00
I read an article lately that suggested in a few short years, the use of textbooks in classrooms will be a thing of the past. Instead, each child will have their own laptop computer with the textbooks downloaded.

My first thought was how fabulous it would be not to have to cover any more textbooks in September! No more cutting brown shopping bags and fitting it around the book! My second thought was how nice it would be not to see my kids schlepping TONS of heavy books back and forth from school, their backs bending under the weight.

I couldn't really think of any downside unless it be the expense involved...the expense of replacing spilled on, virus ridden and lost laptops. The worry of lost computers left behind at sporting practices and dropped from counter tops in the rush to pack schoolbags.

I wonder if making laptops a necessary item might also make it more difficult to monitor web usage of children. Currently, I ration and monitor the amount of time and which sites my children use. If they are on the Internet for school, who's to say cyberbullying and inappropriate usage won't sky-rocket?

What's your thought? Textbook or netbook?

Famous Authors?

2010-07-09T13:52:00.000-07:00
I've decided that the quickest way to get your book published is to first be famous - then you can write any old thing and they'll slap your photo on the cover and print it. Heck, you'll even get a tour of Good Morning America and The Today show to boot!

Since when did being famous (and by this I mean playing a professional sport, being an "actor" or doing something seriously questionable but acquiring fame via internet) mean that one had a talent for writing?

It seems to me that many publishers are interested solely in making money rather than looking for quality writing and unique ideas and storylines. Didn't there used to be a time when the ART of writing was simply that: an art? Somehow it seems like a "lost art" when I see every actor and athlete putting out books while serious authors who have studied the craft and spent YEARS on it can't even get an agent to request partials.

Or perhaps, I'm just grumpy today...

What's your take?

Pluperfect, Shmluperfect...

2010-06-30T15:01:00.000-07:00
Is it possible that correct grammar and word usage has changed over the years? I don't consider myself old exactly but am dumbfounded by this newfangled English that I see in my son's phonics book. Is it possible that there is a newer "modern grammar" from what I was taught &*&^ years ago?

For example, the word swim. I learned the tenses to be swim, swam, swam. I was told over and over again not to say swum. Under no circumstances was I to write "swum" on a school paper lest I invoke the wrath of Sister Angela in fourth grade. But swum is exactly what my kids are being taught to say under the guise of the pluperfect tense (which I do realize is a valid tense, just not in this case!)

Another is the word swing. I learned swing, swung, swung. They are learning, and it kills me to even write this...I'm cringing even now...SWANG. Yikes. It even looks wrong. Swing, swang, swung? Seriously? Even if it's right, I won't be using it and I'm thinking of making a $0.25 fine at my house if I hear it.

Am I the only one that finds this weird? Have the rules changed? Are there any words that just don't seem right to you?

**Ha ha...just as a footnote: when I spellchecked this entry, the only spelling mistake it found was swang!**

Downfall

2010-06-28T13:04:00.000-07:00
In my absence from the computer world, I've been watching more television. I've caught up on my usual shows like Top Chef, The Good Wife and some brainless TV that shall remain nameless. But in my channel surfing, I happened upon a new reality game show that has me truly appalled.

The show is called Downfall and it airs on ABC...the premise being that contestants have a certain number of time to answer trivia questions; meanwhile several prizes are lined up on a conveyor belt that they can win. Keep in mind that these are relatively big prizes that include grand pianos, appliances and cars to name just a few. As the time passes and the contestant can not answer the trivia question, the prizes roll off the conveyor belt and are thrown off the roof of a skyscraper only to break into pieces at the bottom. Yes - the show destroys perfectly good items all in the name of entertainment.

So I have to wonder: is this the kind of entertainment America wants these days? Really? In this terrible economy, with people struggling to make ends meat, do they really find it fun to watch things crash into a million pieces? It's horrifying to me. It's unconscionable. But mostly it is sad that the public sense of interest has fallen to such a bitter low. No wonder book stores are closing. No wonder libraries are closing for one day a week. It makes me sick as a writer to think that people are watching that junk on TV, because it can only mean one thing: they are not reading or using their imagination.

Creativity has been thrown out the window along with the baby grand piano and the new car I saw fly off the roof. I better get my computer back before I become even more jaded!

Nooooo!!!!!

2010-06-25T14:44:00.000-07:00
MY COMPUTER DIED!!!!!

Yup, can you believe it? So, yes, I've been MIA this week biding my time until I could get online for a moment. And now that I'm here, it seems to be Friday again which means it's time for Favorite Friday!

This week, I want to share with you one of my favorite pieces of sage advice: When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Simple, right? You'd think so, but I have to remind myself of it constantly. I always want to believe the best of people and make excuses for their behavior. But since I've applied this wisdom to my everyday life, it has saved me a world of headaches - and probably heart-aches too!

So what is the best piece of advice you've ever gotten?

Favorite Friday

2010-06-18T16:34:00.001-07:00
For the summer months, we're going to lighten the mood a bit. In that vein, I've decided to be fun and introduce Favorite Fridays (just for fun and to learn more about all my friends out there!)

As writers and wordsmiths, we all love words. We like the way certain ones fit together perfectly and the way others make us feel. We like the way they sound in our head and the way others sound spoken in a crowded room. Words are fabulous! So this week, I want to know your favorite word. I'm sure you have at least one - you know, the word you love to use and work into conversation. I have several. One of my favorites is panoply. It just sounds fun rolling off the tongue. Try it! But my all time favorite is ferhoodled. It is a Pennsylvania Dutch word as in, "I was so ferhoodled by his sudden affection that I laughed when he leaned in to kiss me!" I love it, love it, love it! Just saying it makes me smile.

So please share - what is your favorite word?

Summertime, summertime, sum-sum-summertime!

2010-06-16T13:53:00.000-07:00
Well, with summer break having started, I find (as I expected) less and less time to write let alone blog. And frankly, I've missed you all over the past week! I keep looking out to the backyard at the cushioned chairs under the umbrella and tell myself: "Go sit down...just for a minute." But then (inevitably) I hear the "mom, where's my flip flops? Mom what's for lunch? Mom, the baby's messing up my toys..." And sitting down just never happens. So instead, I've implemented twice daily trips to the library so the big ones can browse and read, the little one can listen quietly to story time or whatever is the program du jour and I get to SIT DOWN and think and imagine to my hearts content.

I'll be checking in with all your blogs soon to see what you've all been up to - even if I have to sneak into a closet (where no one can find me) to do it!

Tuesday was a good day...

2010-06-10T13:24:00.000-07:00
Aside from being sick (apparently an untreated sinus infection can lead to bronchitis...who knew?), I have had an awesome week!

Perhaps one of the most exciting moments came as I checked my e-mail on Tuesday while listening to the last half hour of Good Morning America. There I was reading and deleting with the pleasant hum of George Stephanopolous in the background and baby still sleeping. Then I heard "...hottest new book this summer, author Justin Cronin..." I just about dropped my coffee as I ran for the television. And yes, there he was: my college creative writing professor! Yup, it's true. He's written the new novel THE PASSAGE which, now that I've seen the spot on GMA, I have seen EVERYWHERE!!!

Now, yes, I know. I didn't write the book. I know this. But somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I feel validated. I feel hopeful. I just need to keep at it. Keep writing, keep editing, keep the queries flowing. I feel re-energized.

Tuesday was a good day...

In case any of you would like to check out the trailer for the book, here it is:

Joe Cool Author...

2010-06-07T13:28:00.000-07:00
I was reading an article by Elizabeth Sims (author of the Rita Farmer Mysteries) regarding how to handsell your book. Yes, you read correctly: HANDSELL. She went a step further than listing marketing suggestions and the "create a presence on the internet" line. She suggests that authors become more assertive - bordering on aggressive (her word, not mine) - when promoting their book at signings, booths or even from the trunk of the car!

Now the article was fascinating! Engage the would be reader in a conversation about themselves (the type of fiction they enjoy or an upcoming holiday), mention your book, physically put it in their hand and voila: book sold 6 out of 10 times. Add the offer of a personalization to the would be recipient and make it 8 out of10. Sounds great...sounds like it would work on me - I'd surely by a book if the actual author handed it to me to look at. After all, how would you get around it? How would you look the author in the eye and put his/her book down and say "no thanks." It's like when you happen upon a Girl Scout cookie booth. Once you stop to look, there's absolutely no way you can walk away without buying at least one box of Thin Mints!

My only problem is that I, myself, could NEVER follow through with this plan. Though a bundle of fun once you get to know me, I'm painfully shy at first meet! There's no way I could just hustle up a conversation about Mother's Day and suggest that my book would be the perfect gift (no matter how much I believe that's true...)

I do think that selling yourself is as important a factor in how successful your book becomes, but it just seems unfair that writers (who thrive in small, poorly ventilated rooms with nothing but a computer screen and a cup of coffee) have to also excel at small talk and ad-lib performances! If you research famous writers you'll likely come up with words like recluse or private. Heck, you even hear of pseudonyms and ghost writers - you never hear of a ghost singer because performers like the spotlight.

Reading Ms. Sims article led me to wonder: Am I in the minority as a shy writer nervous about self-promotion? How did you overcome your shyness to get out there and talk up your book?

Passionate beginnings...

2010-06-03T14:13:00.000-07:00
A big THANK YOU to all of you wonderful folks out in bloggerville who follow and read my blog!

Seriously, I've been thrilled to receive so much feedback and advice regarding my various posts lately - I couldn't be happier to find so many new friends among my followers and to hear so many different points of view. What a treat it is to log on each day and see what all of you are up to!

That being said, as I've been sifting through the MANY blogs I follow, I've been intrigued by all the diversity among us - the many backgrounds, locations and occupations that have led us all down the same path: writing. It doesn't matter if we hail from the US, Australia, England or Canada; it doesn't matter if we are math teachers, stay at home moms, social workers or engineers - we all find ourselves sitting in front of a computer screen creating people and situations that seem so real we can hardly type fast enough.

I can still remember my favorite book series growing up. It was The Trixie Belden Book Series. I read it as a pre-teen and adored it so much that I set out to write the next book of the set right then and there at age 11. Although that didn't work out quite as I had hoped (wink, wink), it did inspire a love of writing and creating that I never lost. I wrote my first novella in 8th grade (which left my teacher speechless wondering what type of Catholic School values she had instilled) and continued with short stories through high school and college. I took every writing class I could get my hands on whether it was business writing, creative writing or journalism...it didn't matter so long as I was WRITING. I have kept every piece ever written and enjoy looking back at them from time to time if only to see evidence of my growth as a writer.

Remembering my own beginnings has left me to wonder: how did each of you first know that you were destined to be a writer...when did you first discover your passion?

Repressed and Depressed

2010-06-01T13:42:00.000-07:00
Ok. I am extremely frustrated with my current main character. It seems I have done such a good job portraying the teenage daughter of an alcoholic that now I can't break through! She is such a repressed personality that even I am having trouble getting to know her! The things I want her to do - the things I wish she'd do - just don't suit her...yet. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm writing War And Peace or just going in circles.

So I spent my long weekend (which, let's face it, is a REALLY long weekend for stay at home moms) sitting in the backyard managing play dough and dueling light sabers and trying to channel my WIP. Maybe it's back to the drawing board, but I really hope not. I'm hoping that she comes up with something truly stirring and soon or else this might just be the "work in progress" that doesn't progress.

Novel idea...

2010-05-26T10:19:00.000-07:00
As many of you know, I am in a constant state of indecision regarding whether to go the self-publishing route or stick to the old "query 'til you drop" route...which is most likely only successful if you truly do query 'til you drop rather than giving up for a month after every 50 queries which is what I tend to do. I don't really have the stamina to put my creative hat aside for long periods of time to write cover letters and research agents and their interests.

Though I'm not really any closer to a definitive decision for my own work, I did notice something interesting the other day when my Alumni Magazine arrived from my Alma Mater. I did the usual perusal for my graduation year and noted the new arrivals and who's been named to what boards and graduated which medical schools. Then I noticed a page dedicated to new publications from various alumni. Right there on the page was a color photo of each book, the author and a brief synopsis along with the book price. There was a children's book, a self-help book and two novels. I didn't know any of the authors myself, but I did recognize the publishers. In fact, 3 of the 4 were SELF PUBLISHED!

I'm chagrined to admit that my first I thought was "Oh they are self-published" as a justification of sorts. But then I recognized the little green monster for what it was and wondered if the majority of alumni reading this page would be informed regarding the various names of self-publishing companies - and would they even care? And then I thought: Who cares - this is GREAT free advertising to a HUGE alumni network!

So I'm back on the fence. Mostly because I'm perhaps not ready for the huge self-promotion work it will require to be successful as a self-published author. After all, I still have a toddler at home - my time is not really my own. Or perhaps that is just an excuse. But either way, I'm gathering the courage (and marketing ideas) so that when I DO decide, I'll go out there into the professional arena with a bang!

What are your thoughts? Any great marketing ideas from those of you who have opted for self-publishing?

My Schizophrenic Mind

2010-05-24T11:30:00.001-07:00
Okay so my husband and I were seated among friends at a school dinner the other night and the conversation between my friend beside me went something like this:

Her: So how do you get the ideas for your books?

Me: (Stumped for a moment...after all, how do you describe the entire creative process persuasively and succinctly?) Um, uh, eh, well... (Yes, I was brilliant...)

Her: I mean, do you meet people and tell their story or what?

Me: (Laughing now at the thought that this woman was perhaps vetting me for how much to say and how likely her conversation would end up the major plot in my next novel) No, I might go somewhere and be intrigued by the lifestyle or scenery and decide to write about the people who live there. I tell the story of someone I imagine is there somewhere.

Her: But where does the story come from?

Me: The stories are just there waiting to be told. Once I meet the characters at the beginning of the book, their stories just unfold.

Okay, so now she just looks at me with her salad fork hanging somewhere between her plate and her lips as if I just told her that a multitude of personalities live in my schizophrenic mind. She thinks I'm crazy, I decided. So I shrugged my shoulders, I told her the truth...there's not much more to say. I said I'm a writer not a professor...that's not my thing.

Laying in bed later that night, I thought more about how I really do come up with my books. The more I thought about it, the more I marveled at how remarkable the process really is and how little we writers are really understood. I truly do feel like I meet my characters in the opening pages of my novels. I meet them, see what they are wearing - how they move and react to the things around them. Before long they are running the show. They show me where they have been and where they are going. It's my favorite part of writing actually.

I still remember during my last book, there came a point where my main character did something totally unexpected (even to me!) but it just felt right for her. I remember running to my husband who is always patient with my writers ramblings and said: "You'll never guess what Andie just did!" He kind of looked at me cock-eyed as if to say: "and this is news to you?"

But that's what I love. That's how I know the work is authentic and worth writing...that's how I know I'm writing something worthwhile and not simply toward an audience who wants a happy ending or a kiss here or a murder there. At the end of the day, I'm a writer because there really are a million characters out there just waiting for us to claim them and let them tell their stories.

Ocean Oasis

2010-05-21T09:01:00.000-07:00
So we mozied over to the beach last night with the kidlets to see the sun set (which was conveniently obstructed by the marine layer of course) and was reminded once again just how much I love the smell of the salty air and the sound of waves crashing against the dunes at high tide. In fact, it looked a lot like the photo at the top of my blog...which reminded me why I had put it there in the first place: I feel my most creative at the ocean's edge. I breath easily and drink it in with all my senses...it's my perfect creative oasis. I've always done my most productive writing and editing at the beach - even as a teenager writing short stories - my beach bag always has a notebook and my favorite fine tip pen (the right pen is essential!)

My husband always asks where I want to retire and truthfully, I can only think that I want to retire next door to my three children - because of course they'll all want to live on the same road next to their mother, right? But last night, as the kids ran around on the dunes and I watched the waves and the tall grass wave in the wind, I realized that what I really want is to retire at a beach front property with a cozy writing room overlooking the water with giant shuttered windows - and of course the perfect fine point pen...

Do you have a favorite place to write...someplace that releases your creativity like no other?

Since when did this computer become my life?

2010-05-19T11:31:00.000-07:00
Today was going to be a great day. A productive day. I had my usual to-do list, but today it was filled with computerish things - sell a couple things on eBay, balance the checkbook, order some party favors for our Girl Scout Party next month, upload some pics from my camera and of course blog. Missing were the usual household chores that always take priority. Somehow I had caught up on the laundry, the dusting - even the dishes were clean. And to top it all off: THE TODDLER WAS TOTALLY IMMERSED WITH HER LITTLE PEOPLE TOYS! This almost NEVER happens that I can go online while she's awake. It seemed that the gods were truly shining down on me today.

Then it happened. I poured myself a perfect cup of coffee and tiptoed to the computer. No connection. Crazy. I tiptoed to the other computer. No connection. NOOOOOOOO!!!! (I would have screamed but for the thoroughly occupied toddler mentioned previously who might at any moment notice I'm not looking....)

So I was left to wonder (for the better part of the morning) how did this happen? How did I get so dependent and wrapped up in this computer. How did everything become a computer operation. Hadn't I balanced the checkbook by phone? Hadn't I flipped the pages of a catalogue to order things from Oriental Trading? Hadn't I taken the film to the store and been done with it for 3 days until it was developed? Had it all been a dream?

Well, don't you worry. I've learned my lesson. No, I'm not trading in my digital camera for film (after all, I'm not crazy!) But I will be sure to NEVER finish my household chores again! :)

How do things develop?

2010-05-17T12:08:00.000-07:00
What's the deal with every agent under the sun requiring book to begin with extreme action or plot conflict within the first couple of pages?

What happened to those wonderful books that eased us into the scenery and wove us through the complexities of history all the while keeping us wondering what delicious disaster was about to erupt? Am I the only one who enjoyed those books? Has even the world of readers been stymied by the age of computer games and instant gratification? Am I the only reader willing to read background and setting description before I get to the meat? I certainly hope not.

I have been agonizing over how to rearrange my WIP so as to infuse excitement into the first few pages (just to please Joe-agent) when I don't truly believe the action belongs there. The story develops slowly and temptingly...after all isn't that usually how things DEVELOP? Does anything really develop in a hurry? Hmmm...if I think of things that develop - butterflies, young bodies, the brain, our understanding of mathmatics (which continues to elude me) - nothing develops in the rapid fashion that the current publishing and reading world says they desire.

Personally I'm about to throw it all to the wind and continue to write the way that comes naturally to me. I'm tired of writing toward a group of people I don't even know in hopes they buy into my style. My style is my style and perhaps I just need to believe in it a bit more. So my "conflict" is going back to page 25 where, frankly, I believe it belongs!

Blunderville...

2010-05-14T14:23:00.000-07:00
I confess - sometimes when I'm flipping through writing magazines and journals, I'll stop to read the ones titled THE 8 WRITING BLUNDERS YOU DON'T WANT TO MAKE or THE 3 THINGS AGENTS DON'T WANT TO SEE - not to find tips to improve my writing necessarily. Usually it's to make myself feel better. You know the articles - when to use whom vs. who and avoid using 'ly dialogue tags. Part of me figures: I have a degree in Creative Writing, I understand grammar - certainly I can check off these "blunders" and give myself that much needed pat on the back. (Yes, I realize this is arrogant and self-serving - but that is a topic for another post!)

Well, GULP, I found a blunder. Yes. I'm sure there are many more I am guilty of, but I found a blunder that seems so basic now that I read it that I can hardly believe I succumbed for so long!

The blunder was the use of ellipses in your writing. Now I've used ellipses often in my dialogue and thought nothing of it. Heck, I've used ellipses in almost all of my blog postings! But according to this article, ellipses are cowardly and lazy. In real life people's speech and conversation doesn't just die off. Real people simply stop speaking (thus a period) or their thought is interrupted (a dash). How true. To use ellipses in your dialogue, then, would seem to be a way to rush the dialogue without paying true homage to the character's feelings and intent.

Perhaps even more humbling then realizing I've been making this blunder for so long is thinking about how many ellipses I need to now go back and fix!

I'm sure you all have many more blunders, I can add to my list. Feel free!

Charts, charts, charts...

2010-05-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

So my friend called the other day with a discipline issue concerning her 5 year old, and while we creative problem solving, it got me thinking about how I have handled these issues with my own kids.

I'm what my children would call "chart obsessed." The second a behavior or issue presents itself, I create a chart. Not a loose-leaf, hand written, fly-by-night chart, mind you. I create large, poster board sized charts with stickers and reward points and names in big letters. And the crazy thing is: the charts work. For a time. All the charts work for a month or two - in which time, I hope the behavior has corrected itself and the chart is no longer required. Then inevitably, another chart pops up on the wall by the breakfast nook. My latest chart attempts to have more cheerful cooperation in the chore department (and so far so good) but I've recently had great luck with a chart to help track TV/video game time and keep it to a minimum as well.

On Monday, my 11 year old came home and found a new chart in the kitchen and said: "Mom, your charts are really creative." His statement made me laugh. He wasn't buttering me up or using his gorgeous baby blues to get out of work. Rather, it was just his simple acknowledgement of my effort and the creative bug inside me that apparently must come out one way or another. Perhaps if I get back to my writing more, my charts will disappear all together and I'll have to find a nice painting to hang on that wall!

So I wonder, do you find that your creative inspiration oozes out in ways totally unrelated to your writing?

The Illusive Work in Progress

2010-05-10T18:52:00.000-07:00
I read an article in Writer's Digest the other day that really got me thinking...okay worrying is more accurate.

The article focused on the number of "stories" an author has in them and how generally speaking only 1 out of every 10 "stories" ever comes to fruition successfully. The vast majority, the writer suggested, get tossed out in the first draft or sit unfinished in favor of a new story that pops into the author's mind.

Now while I read the article, I was nodding my head in complete agreement. It sounded perfectly logical and reasonable. But later as I sat down to work on chapter 10 of my current WIP, I wondered: Is this one of the 9 that will never see the light of day? Is this the one that gets away? I quickly pushed the thought from my mind considering it completely self-defeating - and quite possibly self-fulfilling - and tried to get back to work.

As a newbie...only working on my second novel, I'm curious: how many of your works in progress actually get completed?

How to be a "writing mother"?

2010-04-30T13:36:00.001-07:00
Okay, so where does time go? And why am I fighting this inevitable evolution of who I am - or who I need to be right now?

I created this blog as a way to forge relationships with fellow writers - as a way to in essence "become" more cohesive and tied to my work. And while I do enjoy popping over to all the fabulous blogs I have since found and keeping tabs on these new friends of mine out in the blogosphere who are so busy writing up a storm, I also feel a bit scattered and inadequate. I feel a bit like the proverbial ducks in my life are not all lining up in a sequential line but rather in a dot to dot of life that I just don't have time to complete.

Yes, having three children (one a toddler at home) could be throwing me off balance...or could it just be that my writing process takes eons longer than almost anyone else. I cannot set myself word count deadlines - if I do, I simply stare at the page counting how many more lines I need to fill. I cannot leave the dishes in the sink and the laundry to pile up while I pursue that next chapter, or else I drown in a sea of guilt. And if I think about it, I don't need to let things pile up, because for some reason when my characters are ready to speak, ready to reveal themselves, they do and somehow it works. It just might take 18 months for it to all flow! Ugh. That's not great output time, I realize. But it is just how it works for me.

And so I write this entry out of frustration. Frustration that I have not been a loyal blogger for a few months, frustration that my book is not further along, frustration that I should truly be planning my middle daughter's next girl scout meeting instead of blogging... But I guess life is a game of hide and seek and I'm back in the game looking around the corner to see where my next chapter is hiding...

Tips on how to be a successful "writing mother" are more than welcome...

Proud Mama

2010-01-14T12:49:00.000-08:00
I'm ecstatic that my son got points taken off his last book report! Crazy right? Well, here's what happened...

My ten year old son had a complex book report to do (complex in the form of cutting poster board in the shape of a kite, with different sections for different aspects of the book - characters, plot etc.) What ever happened to just writing a straight forward paper? But I digress... So I watched as he sat at the kitchen table hunched over his masterpiece writing drafts and crossing out what he didn't like. Finally, he finished his project and brought it to me to proofread (he was very excited about some of the vocabulary he had been able to work in and could hardly stand still!) Together, we made a couple minor adjustments of capitalization and basked in the glory of his completed report. Phew. It was finally done.

Well, the next week he comes home completely distraught. "She took points off of my summary," he told me. When I asked him why, he thrust the report rubric into my hand. Written at the bottom of the page, it read: "-5 pts. Summary sounds like it was copied off the back of a book."

I beamed. Is there any higher compliment than being in fifth grade and writing so well that it sounds plagiarized? Ah, I'm a proud mama indeed that maybe at least one apple hasn't fallen far from this tree!

Follow me!

2010-01-07T19:47:00.000-08:00
Okay, I've finally joined the land of the living and joined twitter! Come follow me...lov2write...who are you?

YIKES!

2010-01-04T23:11:00.001-08:00
Oh my gosh...has it really been that long? Was my last blog really in October - for Halloween?

I won't bore you with all the BORING details of where I've been...because, frankly, I've been nowhere. No exciting vacation. No book deal of the century to negotiate. No winning lottery ticket. Just trying to keep up with the holiday hullabaloo like everyone else, though sadly, it seems I didn't manage my time very well.

So: WELCOME to my new followers! I promise to be more inspiring and thought provoking in the coming weeks. Lots of New Years Resolutions to follow through on - mostly involving getting my novel out there for the masses one way or another (more on that to follow).

I'll be around to each of your blogs in the next few days to catch up. In the mean time: HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU ALL!!!!!

The Pumpkin Patch

2009-10-27T22:41:00.001-07:00
Last weekend, I was out for a nice leisurely drive with my family and had a chance to just stare out the window for a half hour or so just taking in the scenery: the rocky brown terrain of inland Southern California as you climb gently over the recently burned out slopes to reach mini-mountain elevations. Okay, well, truthfully - we were on our way to the pumpkin patch with an over-tired 18 month old singing her version of the Barney theme song, the digital shooting sounds of a 10 year old on a Star Wars DS game, and an ornery 8 year old complaining of hunger and heat. In her defense, it was 92 degrees at the pumpkin patch, so maybe she was hot. But regardless of the chatter and noise, I DID manage to get 30 minutes sitting still and looking out the window. I wasn't handing over cheerios or lathering sun screen on bare arms, I was just sitting. And what I realized while I was looking out the window was that I love scenery. Now my husband would call me a liar because I am rarely moved by the view from a skyscraper or the view from a cliff overlooking a lush, green valley...and frankly, I never knew why. Why am I not in awe of these inspiring views when I truly love beautiful places. And what I discovered was that I don't love a good view. I love scenery. I love driving through an area and picturing how people live there. I love how scenes float by the car window slowly so that you can draw out the experience and almost become one with it. A view is simply one dimensional to me. But scenery is completely 3D.

I mention this - not so much to ramble on - which I tend to do, but because I realize that most of my ideas for stories come from scenery that is intriguing or places I've been that speak to me so strongly that I just HAVE to create characters to experience it for me. My first novel was set among the cattle ranches of Oklahoma where I had been just once but held so much passion and heart that I had to get back there if only on paper. My current novel is set on the rolling hillsides of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania where people live a simpler life...perhaps a nod to my inner need to reduce stress in my life?

I just find it amazing when a piece of my writing process becomes clearer to me - more concrete.

It's an amazing journey we are on as writers. I'm so glad to be here among you all!

Tortured Souls

2009-10-22T09:44:00.001-07:00
Sometimes I wonder if we writers are simply a collection of tortured souls agonizing to get our stories out. It seems to me that writers, the really good ones anyway, are able to tap into raw emotions that seem to transmit effortlessly to the page. Of course, those of us endeavoring to do just this know how difficult it is to not only harness this emotion but find words to portray it.

I believe everyone has a story within. Everyone has at some time or another felt so deeply that their little pinky toe radiates the feeling. But it is the courage to share these feelings - the sorrow, the embarrassment, the tenderness - that sets a great writer apart from a mediocre one. And it is precisely this courage that I continue to strive for with each sentence that I write. And I find that it is those emotions that scare you to death are the ones that you need to put on paper. It is the courageous writing that stuns its readers into voracious consumption.

We always hear: write what you know. Well, it makes sense then that to successfully transmit deep emotion - whether it be joy, love, fear, worry, agony - the writer needs to relive it in a way. The challenge is to relive it while remaining focused enough not to be lost in it: to hover on the brink of insanity it seems. We need to kind of fade in and out of a deep emotional consciousness so that we can get the words on the page before the feeling is lost. For me, this is the hardest part of writing. I could write endlessly about a character and about her trials and tribulations or I can feel intensely. But to infuse a one dimensional being with three dimensional emotion that allows her to come alive for everyone who reads it is the true test of a successful novel.

What it wouldn't mean to me to have someone read my novel and cry when my character does - then I'd know it was a job well done. But occasionally when I am writing, I know that I am on the verge of something great, something unique and important, but I just can't get there. The intensity is missing.

What do you do when the emotion just isn't there? Have you ever had the courage to write about something that terrifies you?

Creative Blogger Award!

2009-10-14T11:00:00.001-07:00

Many thanks to Fran Caldwell for passing on the "Kreativ Blogger" award...though I'm in agreement about the "Kreativ" use of spelling here...

As stipulated by the award, I need to let you all in on 7 things you don't know about me. Hmmm...the pressure to be interesting yet not weird is somewhat overwhelming! Nonetheless, here it is:

1. I wanted to be a pediatric nurse in high school...but decided to major in creative writing instead.

2. I would love to take my next vacation to Nashville.

3. I played with Barbie dolls until I was 12 (perhaps getting the creative juices flowing?)

4. I wanted 5 kids up until I had number 3...now I'm good.

5. I dread public speaking and break into a cold sweat whenever the need arises.

6. I like cleaning...I find it therapeutic!

7. My biggest accomplishment thus far in life was potty training my first child...if you don't have children, please withhold judgement!

And although it is difficult to narrow it down, I'll now reveal my nominees for Creative Blogs that I enjoy regularly and think you should too: Barb at Finding My Voice, Cindy R. Wilson, Sonia at The Gutsy Writer, and Charlie at Approaching Utopia. Thanks to all of you for your inspiring posts!

Submission Tally

2009-10-10T12:48:00.000-07:00
44 queries sent, 1 request for partial received.

Although the ratio of query to interest may not be the best, I'm over the moon about it. Thank God that little bit of interest from a "highly intelligent" agent came through when it did...I was beginning to get a bit of the rejection blues.

So now I'll wait cross my fingers...and my toes...and well, yes, maybe even my eyes...and hope that she likes my partial as much as my query.

I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN, I THINK I CAN...er, um...I KNOW I CAN, I KNOW I CAN, I KNOW I CAN...

2009-09-28T12:35:00.000-07:00

In my first book, I had quotations at the beginning of each chapter that in some way had to do with the theme of the following pages. I have since removed them because I found that the quotes were in most cases more helpful and meaningful to me as a way to regroup my thoughts and pin-point exactly what I wanted to say and less important to the overall impact of the novel. But there are a few that remain so inspiring to me that I thought I'd share them here:

"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance - it is the illusion of knowledge." -David Boorstin

"Truly it is in darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in sorrow, then this light is nearest of all to us." -Meister Eckhart

And my personal favorite:

"For me, writing something down was the only road out." -Anne Tyler

And just the other day, a friend told me "the surest way to be happy is to really, really want what you already have..." Big aha moment for me. So you see, I'm a sucker for a great quote if you have one to share!

How do you research?

2009-09-24T13:15:00.000-07:00
I'm finding that my current WIP is requiring quite a bit of research on two specific topics. Up to now I've been doing a combo of writing/researching depending on how the mood strikes me and what my day is like. For instance: if I'm at home with my daughter napping, I write; but if I'm spending the afternoon running taxi service for piano, soccer, scouts etc...I just pack up my research and head out to do it on the fly sitting in the car or wherever I end up. But lately it seems I'm being less than productive. In fact, I've been researching so much that I'm feeling guilty for NOT writing. But WOW am I learning a lot!

It occurs to me that perhaps I need to pick one or the other. Perhaps I should just research day in and day out until I'm confident about my material and then sit down to write. Or maybe I should just write as it comes and then research later and fill in where necessary. I'm leaning toward the first, but I can't shake the nagging feeling that I'm wasting time.

So I'm wondering: how do you handle topics in your own work that require research?

Woo-hoo!!

2009-09-16T20:17:00.000-07:00
Done.

Yes, I know I said that before, but this time I mean it. I have FINALLY finished my third and final edit - including changing all my spacing from two to one after all the periods...ugh!!!! It has taken me almost a full 7 months longer than anticipated, but I feel so happy because I truly feel that it is a tighter, stronger manuscript the way it now stands. In my gut I always knew it wasn't ready to sprout wings, but I also wasn't ready to do the necessary work and cut here and chop there. I wasn't ready to let go of one little word. But I did (almost 13,000 of them) and I'm glad.

So here's the newest stats: 16 queries sent, 3 rejections (or "no thank you's" as I prefer to call them) and more on their way out.

Now it is finally back to my WIP that I left simmering on the back burner all summer to re-edit the first work. Mind you, it has been simmering and I do believe it is downright steamy now and ready to take off the fire! I'm so excited, can you tell?

So it's back to work...thanks to all of you that have been patient while I meandered my way through the last couple of months!

Where have I been?

2009-09-02T13:04:00.000-07:00
I realize I took some time off from my writing while my oldest two kids were small, but I'm surprised every day by the little editing things that have changed over the years...where have I been?

My latest frustration: the fact that only one space now follows a period! Yes, I do think it is more eye appealing but my fingers don't want to just type one space...they are conditioned from years of practice to put two spaces after each and every period! Even more frustrating is trying to go back and edit my novel with the new rule (okay, it may not be THAT new but it is to me!)

So if this rule has changed, it makes me wonder: What other little rules have changed in the past ten years?

2009-08-13T23:49:00.001-07:00
Yikes...where have I been? Well, let's see: back to school shopping, planning an insanely hectic Luau party for my 8 year old's birthday, breaking a toe (yes, you can say ouch!) and editing, editing, editing...

Still, no excuses. Now school is back in session Monday and my daytime will once again be my own...well, if you subtract the time necessitated by a 16 month old...okay so nap time will once again be my own!

Can't wait to sit down and delve into all the wonderful blogs I follow and have been missing...talk to you all soon!

To prologue or not to prologue - that is the question!

2009-08-12T12:31:00.000-07:00
I've been pondering this question for a while now and then decided who better to poll then my fellow enthusiasts!

My first novel, which I am currently about to finish editing, begins with a flashback. In actuality, it begins with two flashbacks which I consider more of a double prologue. You see the story is told from the POV of a daughter who finds her mother's body after she commits suicide and then follows her along the path of self-discovery as she searches for the reason for her mother's death. It becomes apparent during the course of the novel that her mother and father's relationship was doomed from the beginning and the two flashback sequences - one told from the father's POV and one from the mother's POV- foreshadow this revelation.

I love this beginning (of course, I do since I wrote it!) but have been advised by a few readers (mostly other writers) that I shouldn't begin this way. I realize it breaks many rules: begin with heavy action, keep the same POV throughout etc. But I am reluctant to scrap it because it felt right to me...but am willing to do the old heave-ho if it is truly in the best interest of the work. Mostly I'm afraid that it will turn off the agents I am submitting to if they only read the first chapter or two.

At the moment, I'm thinking of compromising and only including the flashback of the mother. It is shorter more action packed.

Thoughts? Suggestions? I'm desperate to get this right!

My reading dilemma

2009-08-05T11:13:00.000-07:00
Here's the dilemma: Once I begin a book, I cannot stop - even if it is REALLY, REALLY bad!

Does anyone else have this problem?

Last night I got all the kiddos to bed and climbed into my bed looking forward to a couple hours of uninterrupted reading before hitting the hay. As I reached for the book on my bedside table (the book I've been reading for a week now and am on a whopping page 150!), I groaned a little. This current book I've committed to has proven to be less than exciting and even less inspiring.

Why don't I just put this book aside (or swap it on my favorite site: paperbackswap.com)? Because I can't. I can't bring myself to stop reading until the very last word has been duly noted and processed. I've made it through many a novel this way, all the while wondering when it would get interesting and begin to captivate me.

Often, I've been bountifully rewarded with a great ending or a story that finally grabs me in the middle. It's how I made it through The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova and Fortune's Rock by Anita Shreve - I hung in there and am ever grateful that I did. But just as often, I struggle through the beginning pages of a book and reach the end only to be thankful that it is over and I can move on - my commitment to the author complete.

And of course there are countless books that I sail through, greedily devouring each word from beginning to end - like the Kite Runner that I read large parts of while stirring macaroni and cheese on the stove because I was so busy reading that I almost forgot to make dinner!

But what irks me is my misguided need to finish every book I pick up. Even now I feel confident that tonight I'll choose a new book and put to rest the current one (which shall remain nameless), but I know that when that fateful time comes, I'll likely be consumed by guilt and fear that on the very next page - the very next one that I'll never get to - there will be the great break through: those awe inspiring words I've been waiting for.

Hmmm...what to do...

Out of the mouths of babes...

2009-08-03T07:47:00.000-07:00
Kids are the best.

I have spent the greater part of my adulthood raising my kids. Teaching them, nurturing them, advising them... Yet it is always surprising when they turn around and teach me a lesson back. So this morning I thought I'd share one of these moments while the cherubs are all still asleep and I enjoy my morning coffee.

We had a family meeting this weekend as the last month of summer arrived and thoughts of back to school supplies and new teachers swirled in our heads. It has been an especially fun summer with lots of friends and beach time and the baby starting to walk. So we wanted to regroup and refocus. During our meeting, we spoke about goals for the next year...specifically what we wanted to accomplish.

When it came time to share our individual goals, I specifically chose ones that were family friendly and things I thought the kids could relate to (you know, eat more carrots and less chocolate, more exercise...)

Then my 7 year old daughter looked at me with these big brown eyes and said, "Mom! How about finishing your book? That should be your goal!"

Duh, right? I had been thinking that my writing life was simply that: MY writing life. But when I stop and think about it, my writing is a huge part of their life too. It is the "other" part of me that compliments the mommy and caregiver part to make me a whole and fulfilled person. And, yes, finishing my book IS my goal, I just didn't think my children would see that. So no more procrastination, no more whining over how tedious this editing is becoming. Back to work!

How pleasantly surprised I am to learn that in my children's eyes, I already am what I have always wanted to be: A WRITER.

A hard nut to crack

2009-08-01T14:25:00.000-07:00
Have you ever wanted to hit your head against the wall for missed opportunities to plug your work and yourself as a writer? If I followed through on this urge, I'd for sure be missing half of my temporal lobe by now!

My characters and story are in my head CONSTANTLY to the point that I should set them a seat at my table along with my children, yet I have the hardest time speaking about them to other people.

Recently, a good friend asked me what my book was about. She was genuinely interested but I became a bumbling idiot sadly resembling my first attempt at asking a boy to the Sadie Hawkins dance in high school. I don't know if I'm worried that the person isn't really interested and just being polite or if I just generally am too close to the whole thing to put it into words. It's almost as if someone had asked me to sum up my whole world in a sentence or two.

The most frustrating thing is that I know talking easily and convincingly about my work is essential to success. I KNOW that if I'm not enthusiastic and clear then neither will anyone else be.

But it is proving to be a hard nut to crack for this aspiring writer...

My First "Award"!

2009-07-18T19:34:00.000-07:00

Many thanks to Kit Courtney for honoring me with my first blogger award!

Kit's blog Kit Courtney Writes was the first one I stumbled upon and began following about six months ago and I have been enjoying it ever since!

So I believe I am supposed to pass the ONE LOVELY BLOG AWARD on to 5 other talented bloggers that I enjoy on a regular basis.

After much consideration I have chosen:

1. Working My Muse by Eric because his insight into his own writing successes and challenges causes me to look deeper into my own writing life.

2. Fran Caldwell's Notebook because Fran's journey has been inspiring as I followed her from writing her queries and sending them out to getting her first deal!

3. Cindy R. Wilson because I love the professional quality and tone to her blogging!

4. Belletrinsic for always giving me a good kick in the butt with her take no prisoner posts!

5. Gutsy Writer because I love Sonia's free-thinker mind and can often relate to her challenges and triumphs!

Thanks to all of these bloggers for the piece of inspiration that they provide to everyone who reads them and I encourage all of you to check them out!

Yikes!

2009-07-12T11:01:00.000-07:00
I've recently noticed a disturbing trend in my work.

I'm killing off the mothers.

Wow, that felt good to finally say...to come clean and admit it.

I've been putting alot of time into my query and getting ready to get the next round out there (thus, my neglect of my blog...) In my rewrite, I've been really struggling to find a theme that would resonate with people. But in my search, I found my "mother-slaying."

You see in my first novel, the mother is killed off in the very beginning. In fact you never even meet her first hand. Her tragic story is revealed through her daughter and her own self discoveries. Yet in a way, the mother is the heroine of the book so I felt rather comfortable with killing her off. But now that I've written part of my second novel, I realize that I have killed the mother on the first page. Not a brutal murder, but a sad and lonely accidental overdose.

I'm so disturbed by this trend, in fact, that I've rewritten the beginning part so she doesn't actually die. I'm not sure yet which way I'll finally let it play out. WHEN (not if, right?) I finally do get published, do I want to be the author known for writing about dead mothers?

I seem to have this Bambi-esque theme through my stories in which the mother has to die for the daughter to find her legs...her true self.

Hmmm.... How's that for a theme? :)

Have you ever discovered an interesting trend in your own writing - was it liberating or disturbing?

4 days and counting...

2009-06-28T14:14:00.000-07:00
Ok. It has been 4 days since I've been on Authonomy. (Deep breath) I'm fighting the urge as we speak, but I'm not going to do it. (I'm leaning toward eating a box of cookies instead, but that's a whole other issue...)

Yes, my rank is sliding. Yes, the Editor's Desk is getting farther and farther away. And yes, I'm happy to be back to my life as I knew it.

Thanks for all who encouraged me to get off Authonomy and back to doing what I should be: WRITING!

Dialogue vs. Narrative Prose

2009-06-18T15:34:00.000-07:00
I am the first to confess that I love writing description. Drive me by a hillside of grazing sheep and maybe a stray butterfly floating on the wind (see, there I go again) and I will describe the heck out of it...for pages...and pages...and then maybe just one more...

This is what I've been told lately and so have been diligently working to correct this **ahem** flaw so to speak. It is painful for me to let go of any word (I love them so...) let alone whole paragraphs. And it has been a struggle to turn some of my narration into dialogue, but I do see the difference when I re-read. I do see my work becoming more "active" so to speak.

I still believe there is a place for narrative prose in literary works and sometimes wonder if perhaps some of my beta readers are comparing my manuscript to chick lit work or science fiction pieces. I know as a reader of literary fiction, I am forgiving (and actually enjoy) the paragraphs of description and detail but wonder sometimes if I'm the exception.

So tell me, where do you sit on the dialogue vs. narrative debate? What do you lean toward in your own writing?

authonomy-shmamonomy

2009-06-16T14:11:00.001-07:00
So where have I been lately? Certainly not blogging as much as I'd like and certainly not keeping up my word counts the way I had planned.

I'll come right out with it...I've been addicted to the Authonomy website. A few months ago I had posted part of my first novel there hoping for friendly camaraderie with other writers and helpful critiques for yet another edit. Of course there was the coveted Harper Collins Editor's Desk looming on the horizon for the top 5 peer ranked books each month, but that's not what I was gunning for...at least not at the beginning. So I delved in with enthusiasm, reading other novice manuscripts and I began receiving confidence boosting praise and helpful nit-picks for my own revision. The tips and advice were right on and my work was improving.

Life was good.

But then a wonderful-awful thing happened. My work began to climb...and quickly. Suddenly the ED was not looming in the distance but edging at the end of a sprint line. So what was the awful part? The fact that authonomy has been consuming my entire life! Reading and commenting, returning swaps, digesting the crits and editing...yikes! It makes me wonder who has been feeding and bathing the kids this past month!

So today, I'm frustrated and rebelling...I'm not looking. Nope. Not looking. (Okay, well I looked once but I'm not reading...) I'm going to the beach. I'm taking a mental health day because I've decided we writerly types weren't cut out for such cut throat races and competition. We're a leisurely, friendly bunch...a group needing the inspiration of nature and the companionship of PEOPLE to help our work thrive and flourish.

After my initial thoughts on the brilliance of such a website dedicated to the mutual critique of aspiring writers in which the best will pull forward and garner deserved attention, I now wonder if it doesn't create unnecessary competition and dastardly nit picks. I write literary fiction so I'm frustrated by the writers of chick lit advising that my sentences are too long or that there isn't enough dialogue. I'm tired of writer's of science fiction telling me that my work didn't catch their imagination. I've decided that mass reading and critquing may not be the answer I'm looking for.

After all, isn't writing an art? Isn't there room on the Barnes and Nobles book shelf for all our books?

E-books

2009-06-10T13:10:00.000-07:00
I have a feeling that I'm somewhat archaic in my dislike of e-books. This doesn't mean I'm not willing to change...given the right techniques of persuasion, of course.

You see, my husband is constantly regaling me with great e-books he has seen and down-loaded. He's constantly telling me (to be supportive, I've no doubt!) that when I get published, the e-book will get my work out there to the masses so much more efficiently than simply sitting on the Barnes and Nobles book shelf.

And each time - if I'm honest - I cringe.

I have a mental block it seems about reading literature on a computer screen. I think it takes away from the entire beauty of what reading really is and ought to be. When I read a novel, for instance, it isn't just the story that carries me away, it is the holding of the book in my hands and feeling the crispness of the pages against my fingers. It is the smell of a book too. It can be the raw and heady scent of a brand new book with it's tight binding and pages that occasionally stick together. Or the smell of the book I last had on the beach smelling faintly of sun screen and sand. There is something truly delightful about holding a book in my hands and sliding a bookmark into the place where I leave off that I don't think any other medium can even come close to let alone replace.

In fact, I won't even let my circle of trusted readers take a look at my manuscript online...I'm afraid it will come off like a textbook or research. I want my book to be an experience.

I can remember just where I was when I read The Kite Runner: I was sitting in the car waiting for soccer practice to be over, and then I was standing by the stove stirring macaroni and cheese, and then I was lying in bed with just my clip on book light for the end. See? It was a total experience that would have been tragically different had I been tied to my computer screen for the duration.

But I'm a reasonable person. I'm open to finding out if my vision of reading and publishing is old fashioned and out-dated.

Have you published an e-book? Would you? I'm open to being persuaded...if you do a good job, perhaps you can even convince me to download my first book!

2009-06-08T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so happy today.

Yup. Just thought I'd share.

Maybe it's the sun shining and the kids getting out of school for the summer - the promise of long days at the beach writing (which as I've said before, is my most productive spot...)

Maybe it's reading all the wonderful blogs of my fellow writers that has inspired me to keep at it and stop feeling like an unpublished fraud...

Maybe it's having finally stumbled upon THE song that has re-energized my new novel...

Maybe it's the continuing climb on the Authonomy.com for Scream Out Loud...every day one step closer to their editor's desk...

Don't know. Maybe it's the diet coke I'm drinking...could be...

Over the weekend I started my third re-read and edit of Scream Out Loud using the helpful critiques of fellow writers on Authonomy and if truth be told, found the whole experience joyful. Yes. Joyful. There's no other word for it.

You see, someone had suggested that I insert dialogue for two areas of prose that felt particularly heavy with back story. So I sat down with the enormous task of turning this beautifully descriptive narrative (I'm allowed to say that since I wrote it!) into lively, informative dialogue. Yikes.

But I did what I was told and put the proverbial butt in chair and refused to get up until it was finished. The result? A much more cohesive and attention grabbing first chapter!

I'm so grateful for all the helpful hints and suggestions I have been getting from fellow writers and readers. What have been the best (and worst!) suggestions you have received to improve your own manuscripts?

Yesterday's Aha! Moment

2009-06-03T13:34:00.000-07:00
My son was watching me create my database for agent queries...

Son: Mom, how many agents are there in the world?

Me : Hundreds. Thousands. (admittedly distracted)

Son: That's great, mom!

Me: Great? How's that great? (Bear in mind, I'm in the throws of reading hundreds...thousands of agent websites...)

Son: Because you only need one to say yes!

And there it is: Aha!

$*&@# This Query Letter!

2009-06-01T13:31:00.000-07:00
As you can see, I am reworking my query letter for a second round of agent submissions and am in agony! I've done my research and read the guidelines for "the perfect query letter." But is there really such a thing? Is there really a perfect query?

It seems this right-brain letter writing is getting the best of left-brain little me.

I've written so many pitches (my comparative pitch, my teaser pitch...I've tried them all) only to find out from the last agent website I visited, that they dislike this approach all together and prefer simply a one page synopsis (which of course, is anything but simple!)

I guess what has me frozen with fear is the thought that this is it...this is the make or break chance for my manuscript to come to life for someone else. My chance to get it noticed. Yikes. The pressure.

So, are there any tricks of the trade lurking out there that you'd like to share? Any nuggets of wisdom? Any paragons of pitches to inspire those of us still in the query quagmire?

To Self Publish or Not Self Publish: That is the Question!

2009-05-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

Okay, the self-publishing controversy is driving me batty.

It seems that everyone has an opinion driven by their own motivations. Agents and writing publications warn against self-publication as a taboo that will make you undesirable to "real" publishers, while other frustrated writers hail it as a life-line for the undiscovered members of the never ending slush pile.

So which is it? Will self-publishing really hurt my chances of ever becoming the author I want to be? Or is it just that this industry - like so many others - is simply resistant to change? Could it be that the growth of self-publication is just a logical next step that corporate publishers don't want to acknowledge?

What do I think? I have to admit that self-publishing looks enticing. Not only because of how hard it is to find that traditional agent and publisher, but because of the creative control that you maintain as an artist - and as a control freak, that sounds great. The idea of handing over my fledgling manuscript to strangers who aren't nearly as invested in each word and detail is frightening to me.

So I'm wondering...how many of you out there have ridden the self-publication wave? And for those of you who haven't, what stops you?

My Rant

2009-05-26T13:58:00.000-07:00
People do it on the couch. They do it on the beach. They do it on airplanes and trains...

It's a fact. People love to read. They do. They love to curl up on the couch under a warm blanket with a hot cup of tea. They like to lay out with the sun blistering on their backs while they turn page after page. People love to read so much that there are whole genres titled simply by the places people like to read: "a good beach book" or a "rainy day book"... People create entire clubs around the books they read to discuss the words and lines they like the most!

So I ask you. If people love to read so much, why don't they treat those of us in the midst of providing them such pleasure with a bit of respect? Why do we have to prove ourselves? Why is it not a worthwhile endeavor in the world's eyes until we are published and making money for some big firm?

Don't people realize that we writers AGONIZE over sentence structure and plot lines...we AGONIZE over which word choice will give you, the reader, the maximum emotion or understanding... And what do we get for this exhausting and time consuming AGONY? Nada. We get our toil and work called a "hobby" or "long-shot".

Well, if every would be writer gave up so easily and didn't follow their passion and aim for that "long shot" success, then we'd all be missing out on the the great heirlooms of literature like Gone With The Wind and Of Mice and Men...we'd have missed out on the sleeper successes of The Kite Runner and Memoirs of a Geisha...

So for every reader out there who looks at the aspiring writer and wonders why they are wasting their time or calls their life's work a "hobby", next time just think where you might be if all the would be writers in the world instead went out and became engineers and pediatricians.

Excerpt from Chapter 4 of Scream Out Loud

2009-05-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

“I think you are about done there, love,” Aunt Kitty said, scooping up the rubbery dough into her floury hands. “What are you so busy day dreaming about anyway?”

Andie smiled and leaned back against the counter. She wiped her hands on the gingham apron at her waist. “Just about my mom. About how we used to make pies like this when I was little.”

“Really?” Her Aunt raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

“Well, sure.” Andie threw her hands up in mock exasperation. “Well, okay, when I was REALLY little…before all the black tie benefits and stuff. But I remember it very clearly.”

“What happened, Andie?”

“What do you mean?”

“What happened to your mom? What made her so sad? So hopeless.” Kitty turned to face her now, her face pale and drawn. “When she left Fairfax, she was full of dreams and promise. Full of life.”

“People change,” Andie said flatly.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She pulled Andie into the fold of her warm arms and squeezed tight.

“Aunt Kitty?”

“Hmmmm?” Her voice muffled against Andie’s hair.

“I think my dad took it from her.” Kitty loosened her hold and tried to catch Andie’s eyes, but she had turned quickly to wash her hands at the sink. “He took up all the dreams…all the spotlight, she said. “I guess even though my mom found things to do, she never found something to make her whole. She just wasn’t whole without him. It was like she left Oklahoma with all sorts of plans and ambitions, you know? And then his dreams just took over. His medicine took over.”

“And you?”

“Me?”

“Yes, Andie. Are you whole?” Kitty stopped and lowered her voice to a whisper. “Are you happy?”

“I’m trying, Aunt Kitty. I thought I was. I really want to be.” The kitchen filled with silence as Andie wiped the flour from the counter top onto her hand and flung it into the sink. The kitchen smelled of Fantastic and bleach and reminded her more than a little of the emergency room at her dad’s hospital. Sterile.

“I found her you know,” she finally said evenly. As she glanced up, she saw her Aunt leaning against the door jam with quiet tears sliding down her cheeks and forming little polka dots on her apron. It struck Andie yet again how someone else could be brimming – no, overflowing - with deep and raw emotion while at the same exact moment, she felt completely detached from it all. She would have given almost anything to taste just a moment of that fire. Selfishly, she decided to go on. She decided that she needed to see the emotion face to face even if she herself could not feel it. So she began matter of factly with her back leaning against the light blue corion counter top.

“I had left work early that day to help my mom get ready for my dad’s big night. The hospital was presenting him with the Thomas Jefferson Memorial Award for dedication to patient care and innovation in surgical procedure.” She sniffed at the irony of a man so in tune with his patients and yet so out of touch with his own family.

“My mom and I talked every morning on my way to the office and usually again on my way home. I’d tell her about my newest case or a judge that had really pissed me off. She’d always throw in her two cents and tell me I deserved a treat. Often she’d say my dad was working late and offer to meet me for dinner. We had a little Pub just outside the city where we always met. We’d take a table near the jukebox so she could pump five dollars worth of quarters into it to guarantee a healthy portion of country tunes mixed in with the usual pop and rock. We’d laugh whenever Kenny Rogers or Ronnie Millsap rolled up right after Funky Cold Medina.” A smile turned the corners of her mouth ever so slightly at the memory.

“When I called that last morning, my mom had sounded a little under the weather, so I left work early to go see if I could help her get ready for the banquet. It wasn’t like her to sound so low. Usually before a big event, she’d be flitting around getting her nails and hair done. I figured she must be really sick. When I got there, the house was dark so I let myself in and turned on the kettle. I thought a cup of tea and honey might perk her up enough to attend the dinner later. Then I went upstairs - careful to avoid the top step that had creaked ever since I was a kid. It used to tip me off when she was coming upstairs at night so I could turn off my light and pretend I was asleep.”

“When I got to the end of the hallway, her bedroom door was ajar so I pushed it open a little and called softly to her from the doorway. When she didn’t answer, I opened the curtains. You know, I thought a little light might wake her up gently. Then I climbed under the covers just like I always used to do when I’d have a bad dream in the middle of the night. I put my arm across her belly. I was lying so close that I could smell the lavender of her hair. Mommy, I whispered. It’s time to get up. And as I lay there waiting for a murmured hello or her gentle tug on my hand pulling me closer to her, I knew that something was wrong. I just felt it. Then I saw the pills. Two bottles open on the bedside table. Both empty. She was gone.” Andie stopped and wrapped her arms tighter around herself. Her voice was steady and unmoved.

“Her body was still warm from being under the duvet and I couldn’t help but snuggle closer to her. When my dad came home to get ready, he was carrying his tuxedo and a corsage of African Violets. He found us there.”

By now Kitty was sobbing into her hands. Not the soft rhythmic cries of sadness but the loud and uncontrolled hiccupping sobs of utter despair. Andie stood motionless, taking it in and feeling comforted in a way by the hysteria around her.

Finally she went to her Aunt and wrapped her in her arms. “It’s okay,” she said softly. “It’s okay.”

2009-05-13T13:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I've been a little distracted lately. Could be the lovely spring weather. Could be all the fuss around the house about the 20 days left of school. Could be the baby turning one. Could be the cat being sick. It could be a number of things. But it isn't.

I think I'm just still in mourning about putting my first project behind me. It's rather lonely without it. I miss carrying it around with me and jotting notes in the margins when a really great idea strikes. I even find myself thinking about Andie late at night as I fall asleep. Yup, I've got it bad.

But today I'm pulling myself up by the boot straps and getting back to work.

2009-04-28T12:42:00.000-07:00
Is it just me or does writing turn your mind to blubber?

Yesterday I went to my children's school to help out with a project after school and discovered that I have become a blathering idiot seemingly overnight! Picture it: a group of mom's standing around (looking all cute in their matching track suits and fresh mani-pedi's, of course) chatting. Enter me in my jeans and t-shirt (possibly sporting a matching baby puree from lunch) trying to make some small talk. The only difference is that I can't think of a thing to say! I am consumed with my latest character's plight. I mean how am I to think about up-do's and hot lunches when Sadie's about to be sent off to foster care?

My mind is reeling about 10 steps behind each of them...you went where? last night's homework was what? next week's field trip to where? So I stand there innocently hoping that I don't look like I'm writing my next chapter in my head. Crap. I fiddle around in my pocket fishing for a scrap of paper...a receipt...anything to write down a great thought I just had. Nothing. Crap.

All the sudden, the attention turns to me. Hmmm? How many cookies should we order for the end of year party? I try to do the math quickly in my head, but I can't think. I can't do it. My left brain has completely overrun my right. Noooooo!!!!!!!

So from now on I think I'll just have a standard answer at the ready for when people have the gall to speak to me or ask me these seemingly innocuous questions: I'm sorry, you'll have to forgive me - I'm writing a book.

2009-04-24T10:23:00.000-07:00
Rejection.

Of course there is no kind way to say we don't like your work, but surely there is a way to say it in the vein of it's not you, it's me.

I don't think any writer relishes the time and effort spent packaging their work to meet each agent or editor's individual specifications...query only, query and synopsis, query and first 1000 words, synopsis and first three chapters.... You fellow writers know what I mean. My favorite is that simply requesting a synopsis isn't good enough anymore. Apparently there is a regular synopsis of 4 or 5 pages, a one page synopsis, a 500 word synopsis and who knows what request I'll have to fulfill next! Don't they get that if I could fit the action, plot and characters of my manuscript into one page, I would do it to begin with?

But nonetheless, I methodically give them what they want and send it off hoping for the best.

Then the rejections start coming back. Now, it's not that I don't expect a fair number of rejections. I do. But it is the way the rejections come back that has begun to irk me. The ones I have received come as form letters on photocopied paper with the left margin faded like their printer was running out of ink on the original copy. They come without letter heads and unsigned...and my favorite was the rejection postcard.

Couldn't these agencies - that make their living off of our work - at least fork out an original print on letterhead so that we feel rejected by a classy, sought after firm? That would be easier to stomach. The ones I receive make me feel that I've been rejected by the last surviving agency on the planet in the slums of the publishing world.

The last rejection I received simply said "I have reviewed your material and it is not anything I wish to work with at this time." Ouch. That's like saying 'you look nice, but you're not anything I wish to date right now.' When then? Maybe when hell freezes over? When all the good stuff stops rolling in? I much prefer the kinder, gentler approach: Thank you for your submission, but I will not be able to represent you at this time and I wish you best of luck with your manuscript.

After all, there's no reason to be rude...I know what you mean either way you say it.

2009-04-22T11:00:00.000-07:00
I'm a sponge. Yes, a sponge.

In the past few weeks that I've been networking and hawking my book online and to agents, I've become a sponge soaking up this wonderful culture of writers and editors until I'm fairly brimming with formats and function keys! I look around the house and find formatting notes scribbled in corners of sticky-notes on the fridge and margin dimensions written on receipt edges in my wallet.

So now I've got serious questions rattling around in my head: Courier New or Times Roman? I've got serious format issues to correct: like underlining all my italicized words (errrghhh...) and changing the line spacing to ensure 250 words on a page (irritating!) Let's not even mention that I have to find a way to cut 15,000 words (all of which are essential, of course!) But I guess it's not surprising that writing as a profession has been forced into all the same boxes as other industries...where has the love of creativity and admiration of art in its purist form gone?

Some days it seems unfair that a writer can't just write - why do we have to be responsible for packaging and formatting too? Isn't the computer genius side of the brain completely separate from the creative side? Hmmm...

Although if I'm being honest, on other days, it seems like a relief to have a task with a clear beginning and end. A task with an absolute right or wrong to bring me back to reality. So maybe the editing and formatting side of writing a novel is a good way to bring all us writers back down to earth once in a while. Maybe it's a good give and take after all.

Inspiration

2009-04-09T13:08:00.000-07:00
People often ask me what genre I write, but I am always reluctant to put my book into a box so small. First, it's fiction. Family Saga to be more specific. Women's Literature - even better. But what I really want to write is an Oprah book. You know, the kind. A thought provoking, heart wrenching tale that just won't let you put it down. The kind of book that draws you in and book clubs start talking about the use of metaphor and symbolism. What I want to be is INSPIRING! Whether I succeeded with my first novel remains to be seen, but recently I've decided that maybe writing an Oprah book, isn't the be all and end all of my journey as a writer.

As I've mentioned previously, I write ALL the time and ANYWHERE, so it isn't unusual for my kids to saunter up on the beach, boogie board in hand, and ask: "So what's your book about?" It isn't strange to glance up from a park bench at the playground and find a jump rope wielding 7 year old wondering: "Is there a horse in this one?" They'll offer names for pets or suggest themselves as characters, but I have never taken their interest as more than a passing whimsy.

But the other day I found a post it note stuck to the door of the computer room. On it was written a poem in my 10 year old son's handwriting. It was a haiku. When I thanked him for the lovely poem ( which was really quite good...but I may be biased!), he said: "It's for your blog to go with your picture of the ocean at the top. Maybe you can put it on there with your writing."

Since then I have found haiku's in every place imaginable - random index cards abound in nooks and crannies alive with colorful adjectives and adverbs of note. It turns out that he loves writing these short poems of the things around him...just the way I write stories about things I think and feel.

Hmmm...maybe I have already inspired someone.

Maybe I have already succeeded:

In the ocean a

Dolphin plays joyfully and

Silence returns again

2009-04-07T11:35:00.000-07:00
Music moves me.

It doesn't have to be a certain genre or a particular artist, but the right song with the right lyrics can really inspire me. Perhaps it's because a good song is really just poetry set to music. So for me, great music is kind of like reading a best seller while driving the car or making dinner...

When I was in the middle of my first novel, I happened across my husband's James Blunt CD in the car and, being too lazy to change the setting (or maybe just too pregnant!), I discovered the songs that would be my motivation each day. As my story began to delve into topics that were often dark and painful...childhood abuse, suicide, loss of a parent...it was a daily challenge to find my heroine's 'truth' as a real person with a heart and mind of her own.

But there on that James Blunt CD, I found the "theme songs" of my hero and heroine and I played them religiously on the way home from dropping my kids off at school each day. I'd listen to the songs (tracks 4 and 5 respectively...) and instantly reconnect with Andie and Tony and know what they would do next. It was largely this music that let me see my characters in my mind's eye as real and human.

I still listen to the CD, though less often, with a certain wistfulness of days gone by.

So now, I'm currently stumped at 8000 words on my latest work and wonder if maybe I'm just missing the requisite music. I've heard of method acting: maybe this is my "method-writing". But finding that just right piece of music that particularly moves me is like looking for the proverbial needle in a haystack. I'm driving myself crazy!

I'm sure it's like anything else and when I stop looking - or listening - I'll find it. Until then, I'll plod along getting to know Sadie, my new heroine, by what she chooses to do today...and tomorrow...and the next day...

As a newbie writer, the process just keeps amazing me! I love feeling like I'm reading the book even as I'm writing it...

Just wondering if anyone else has an interesting way they get "connected". The more off-beat the better!

An excerpt from Scream Out Loud

2009-04-02T15:52:00.000-07:00
Maggie sat down on the floor at her mother's feet watching the yarn unravel in small circles from the knitting bag as the needles click clacked together in a rhythm of their own. She always seemed to know when Maggie entered a room- as if they shared a magnetic charge that pulled them together over and over.

"Feeling better?" Her mother's eyes remained fixed on the sky blue yarn.

"Yeah."

"Hungry?"

"No. Maybe later."

"Okay." Click clack. Click clack. "Maggie?"

"Yes, mama."

Click clack. Click clack. Silence. Maggie looked up as the yarn stopped unwinding. Her mother's weather beaten face was drawn taut like leather and tiny wrinkle lines showed around her eyes and lips. A single tear escaped quickly from her eyelashes and rolled off her chin leaving a tell tale line of clarity in the path it had traveled.

"You know I love you." She said.

Maggie nodded, wishing she could hate this woman but knowing that she was tied to her forever...knowing that she was just like her.

"Because I really do." Her mother reached down to run a hand through Maggie's poker straight locks. It flowed through her fingers like a sheet of satin...soft and elegant.

Behind them the screen opened in the kitchen and Wayde's bare feet padded across the linoleum floor toward the TV room where his mother and sister sat enmeshed in wordless conversation. The click clack resumed with a renewed fervor and in its wake the yarn began to unwind again - just as it did every evening in the little farmhouse on her father's ranch.

2009-03-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

Not only is Gone With the Wind a staple American classic novel, but Margaret Mitchell wins the award for my favorite quote of all time:

"In a moment of weakness I have written a book..." 11-19-1935

Me too, Ms. Mitchell, me too.

Am I the only writer still toting around a spiral notebook and my favorite fine point pen?

2009-03-27T08:47:00.000-07:00
Okay, let's face it: there is a very stereotypical view of what a writer looks like floating around out there in Hollywood. On one hand it is nice to see the writing world authenticated as a real profession, but why does it have to be romanticized and appear so glamorous everywhere I look. On Sex In The City, Carrie eats Chinese with chopsticks while rattling off her thoughts cross legged before her keyboard, completely unhampered by a sexy phone call or the honking taxi's outside her window. Hell, she might even stop mid-article to put on a super-glam outfit and meet the girls for brunch. I mean, wow, that looks great! It makes me want to be a writer! And then in Something's Gotta Give, Diane Keaton dresses angelically in pure white and writes her plays in a crisp, clean room in the Hamptons, taking long walks on the beach and heated rolls in the hay. Now that looks great too...I want to be a writer like that.

But in truth, I have yet to meet a writer that lives or works quite like that. The ones I have met are holed up in dark rooms wearing yesterday's faded sweatpants and a fun-bun hair-do surrounded by stale pretzels and several half empty coffee mugs. And have I mentioned that they write amid the piles of clutter that never fails to gather as their work begins to pick up steam. Sleep? Never. Long walks? A thing of the past. The only thing that exists is the work.

I, for one, write when I can - in the parking lot at school, on a bench at the playground, on the beach (my most productive!) - I steal every spare moment. It seems that my characters stubbornly move along at their own pace and rarely wait for a convenient moment for me...the mere documentarian of their lives.

So I watch these writers on TV and in the movies and wonder why everyone hasn't tried to become a writer. Or have they? Is that why it is almost impossible to get published?

2009-03-24T15:59:00.000-07:00
Ok, so I love words. I do. I'm a word-a-holic. I love the way a good word feels when it slips off your tongue. I love getting the word of the day e-mailed directly to me from dictionary.com. But I especially love finding words that say just what you mean...words that can stand alone and yet say everything. I have found that using the right word can literally save a sentence otherwise doomed to boredom. It is one of the greatest pleasures I know to stumble upon that perfect word.

So I want to share with you my very favorite word on the planet: ferhoodled. Yes, ferhoodled. Go ahead, don't be embarrassed - say it. Say it out loud. Now say it with a little pizazz. Admit it...it's a great word! I happened upon it while reading a work by Beverly Lewis and instantly fell in love. The official definition (as per dictionary.com, of course!) is to confuse or mix up as in: Don't ferhoodle things in that drawer! But the way I read it in context the first time was in describing a woman as so completely ferhoodled that she couldn't do anything quite right. Now that is absolutely fabulous!!! Ferhoodled. Don't we all get that way now and again, not just confused or mixed up but just completely ferhoodled?

Since my brilliant discovery, my family has adopted 'ferhoodled' into our household vocabulary. This word has changed our outlook on minor infractions and added some fun to the little conundrums (another great word, by the way!) that pop up here and there. Yesterday, for example, I found the ice-cream in the refrigerator all liquidy and seeping onto the shelf. I did my usual rant through the house looking for the culprit with fire in my eyes and melted mint chocolate chip still fresh on my fingers. I found my son in his room with a green tell-tale ring around his mouth and said "Aha!" He just looked at me and my sticky hands with big eyes as the realization of what he had done set in and said: "I was having dessert with my homework and the long division completely ferhoodled me!" Oh. I get that. I've been there more than once, like when I found my car keys in my sock drawer...

We all get confused and stressed out now and then...wouldn't it be nice to just throw your hands up in the air and say: Aaahhh, I'm so ferhoodled!

So What Am I? A Writer?

2009-03-20T13:43:00.000-07:00
I realize that as a writer, part of the job is marketing yourself and putting yourself (and your work) out there for critique and recognition. But I also find this part of the process not simply foreign to me but largely uncomfortable. After all isn't that why I write? I like putting my thoughts on paper and letting them go on before me...kind of like an introduction to the person behind the scenes.

When I began my first book, I simply set out to finish something I had begun years before -mostly for personal satisfaction but also to get back to the person I had been before diapers and soccer practice consumed my life. But sometime during those two years, I began to feel the passion for my work returning until it began to consume me instead...my characters began to go off in directions of their own without waiting for my lead. I began to worry about the choices they were making by day and dreaming about their futures by night. I began to feel and act like a writer. Nonetheless, I waited and plodded away secretly until my friends began to notice I was MIA from usual play groups and afternoon conversations. Only my children knew to find me in the office upstairs if they were hungry or tired.

But finally my novel was finished. My book that I had written with almost no one knowing about it was done and I wanted to shout my news from the rooftops and hold it out to everyone I met. But when I stood there at the top of the world and looked out it was just a tiny squeak that slipped from my lips...i wrote a book...I whispered into the wind that swallowed it whole.

It seemed I hadn't prepared for the finishing of my novel - I hadn't prepared for what I would do when I finally crossed that last t and dotted that last i. I had been so lost in the process. So absorbed by my endeavor. So I waited. I waited for a voice to call out from the heavens proclaiming me a WRITER and perhaps even dreamed for a little 3 by 2 business card to waft down on a breeze giving me an instant title and credibility in the world of authordom. Needless to say, it didn't pan out quite that way. Instead I sat down to dinner that night much the same person I had been for the past two years, thinking about my book and the characters that had become my friends and feeling an unexpected loss. What would happen to them now that I had moved on?

Then, a few weeks later, the strangest thing happened. My husband was on the telephone with a business colleague and I heard him say: "My wife? She's a writer. She just finished her first novel." I was incredulous and - if I'm being honest - a tad embarrassed too. How could I have the gall to call myself a writer? Dostoyevsky, James Joyce, Maya Angelo...those are writers. I haven't been published! If I met someone at a cocktail party and they introduced themselves as a writer, I would ask what they had done and upon finding them unpublished just chalk it up to inflated ego. (Perhaps I am a tougher critic than most, but I doubt it!)

In the days that followed, I spent endless hours mulling the possibility over in my mind and testing the sound of it on my tongue...Hi, I'm Johanna, I'm a writer. Sounds kind of nice actually. In fact in all other aspects of my life I adopted my job description titles rather easily and with gusto...At 24 I got married and within minutes called myself a WIFE having done little or nothing to earn the title. And at 26 I had my first child and as soon as the nurse handed me the little swaddled bundle, I called myself MOTHER - never mind that I had no professional training or certification in that realm - I simply was. I birthed a baby and became a mother. So here I am, having birthed a novel - a novel of 125,000 words which I figure is at least equivalent to birthing a 10 pound baby minus the epidural... Therefore, I am a writer.

So I introduce myself here as a writer, in written words with which I am so comfortable. But don't mind me if we meet on the street and I introduce myself just as Johanna, wife and mother. Afterall, I am a work in progress.

2009-03-19T16:02:00.000-07:00
It all started with a school girl's journal and moved rapidly into the colorful notebooks of high school English until slowly my stories took over my life...now armed with a lap top computer and a panoply of ideas spun carefully in my mind's eye, I have finally finished my first novel!

Since then my weary fingers have worked the keyboard, searching endlessly for the camaraderie of other writer-hopefuls in this vast outlet of the internet where ANYTHING can be found but often never is. With so much to say and so much to share about the highly personal and rarely published process of writing, I have begun this blog to share my random stream of consciousness that has pervaded my thoughts on every step of my journey to becoming a real, bonafide writer.

My hope is that others will share their experiences and revelations in a similar fashion and maybe even enjoy a few excerpts of my work.